BC-Programming Privacy Policy
during the course of your visit to the site, you may give me information. This information consists of bytes of data that themselves consist of 8 bits of data. I guarantee that all the bytes used to store such data will all consist of no more, and no less, then 8 bits. These bits themselves are guaranteed to be stored somewhere that preserves this 8-bit per byte state. This information is used to perform the following tasks:
- Generate crosswords
Because of the cost of creating crosswords from scratch, your information may be placed into a mega crossword generator, which generates crosswords for those cheap crossword books you can buy all over the place. The clues used may be used to insult your weight, intelligence, and body frame, as well as for females, bust size. Remember, All publicity is good publicity
- generate suppository slogans
portions of forum posts, blog comments, and download comments may be used completely out of context to create slogans for otherwise sensitively marketed products, such as suppositories. For example, if you were to say:
once you install the program, it should let your computer run smooth as butter
the “smooth as butter” may be used in an italicized slogan on any number of products for feminine hygiene, as well as suppositories. We reserve the right to accept all royalties for such things.
- Create Anti-duck insults
We reserve the right to attribute vast quantities of anti-duck propaganda to your name. phrases such as “the only good duck is a dead duck” and “Are you going to take it from a quack?” may be placed on billboards with your name as the quotee in bold text. We will also hold anti-duck rallies as well as racing through duck swamps in an attempt to see who can run over the most ducks. Such events will claim to be sponsored by you.
- randomize card shuffles in video casinos
The popularity of video casinos and the lack of a good random number generator means that many video arcades are on the lookout for sources of entropy. Forum posts, blog comments, and snide remarks may be sold to these corporations for the generation of said entropy in the creation of Randomizer seed values. Said casino’s will also be strictly anti-duck.
Other concerns
Some people may be concerned about cookies and their own private data. Said people are paranoid delusional freaks who actually think I care about their favourite color. If I wanted to steal your identity, I’d try to get your social insurance number, not ask you for a username and e-mail address.
Your E-mail address, by the way, will not be distributed to third parties. I hate spammers at least as much as I hate ducks. Although I don’t really hate ducks very much. In any case, on a scale of one to ten where 1 means I love spammers and 10 means I hate them, I probably rate an 11. I also dislike the lunchmeat of the same name, although it’s alright in small doses.
however, we may sell your E-mail address to a local gang of bumblebees. These bumblebees, being insects with tiny brains and unlikely to have any sort of recognizable cognition, will be highly unlikely to sell your data to further third parties, and will probably not even know they have said data. We just want to take their honey. Or we wanted to, but bumblebees don’t make honey. I still; have a contract to uphold though, dammit.
Additionally, any posts created on Tuesdays during a prime number minute will be double posted to forums around the world, where their clearly off-topic nature in that context will cause them to be labelled spam and trolling. Your username will become synonymous with trolling and going against standard forum etiquette.
Data loss
By reading this sentence, you agree that the manatee is a sexy animal. Therefore you are a weirdo freak. I, and members of this site, will not be held responsible for data loss as a result of interactions with this site and it’s members, real, imagined, or sexually fantastical, and regardless of the gender of any person or animal depicted in any avatar by our members. Additionally, any intimate relationship with any other member if this forum can result in an immediate thread with any number of sexual innuendos towards said members, as well as a number of completely irrelevant lolcat images. Lastly, if you lose any data, it was not any member if this forum, but rather possumboy, a boy who looks like a cross between a possum, and mcCauley Kulkin, or however you spell that dweebs name. As a result, possumboy spends more of his time with his hands on his cheeks in surprise then he does actually responding to said surprise, which means that for rather long periods he can seem dormant. Sometimes you may suspect that Possumboy is a whimsical meme-generated fiction created with the sole purpose of misleading newbies. However, if this occurs to you, and by agreeing to this policy, which you do simply by reading it, you will swear a solemn oath that in this event you will douse yourself in flame and light yourself on fire. Either that, or read a book by Ann Landers. Whichever you find less painful.
Spelling
Anybody, aside from the administrator and his privileged internet buddies, will refrain from misspelling words. even the slightest misspelling may lead to a long off-topic discussion about your questionable parentage, and maybe even delve into a guessing game about your mothers occupation. Additionally, by agreeing to this policy, which you do by clicking any link containing the letter “l”, you bear-swear that you will never eat licorice. Further, Pursuant to a law I just made up that doesn’t really exist, you will be obliged to show naked pictures of close personal friends to ducks in nearby duck ponds, and record the sounds they make upon seeing them. At this point you will reverse said recordings and send it to me, where I will listen to said recordings and try to draw the lude images that inspired the sounds. This policy doesn’t infringe on your statutory rights and any laws which prohibit interaction of ducks will of course nullify any portion of this agreement that requires such interaction. In such situations, you will be required to perform the required interaction with a nearby manatee. Additionally, in the former case, if you see a female swan at any point while trying to locate ducks, you must pull down your pants and spin around three times while reciting your favourite poem at the top of your lungs. Once you’ve completed this, find a person of the opposite gender in the crowd that will surely be watching you, and propose to them. A preferably course of action would be to spell words correctly, of course.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I conclude this policy with a warning, Or I was going to, but I forgot what it was. Oh well, I’m sure it was nothing.