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because the 2012 prediction is just too long to wait!

May 20, 2011 - Programming

I’ve already written about the “classic” 2012 end of the world doomsday prediction, you know, prediction number fifty bajillion. I have to say that end of the world predictions don’t have a very good success rate so far, what with the world not being ended and all.

Anyway, as ridiculous as the prediction is, there is an even more ridiculous prediction that occurs in 2011 (this year). In fact, it’s mere days away on the 21st.

Now, it is important to note that this prediction is… well it’s not really based on anything, and truly what end of the world prediction isn’t based on self-doubt and nonsense. This one however truly takes the cake. The wikipedia article on this can be found here. Apparently, this is yet another prediction by one of those people who seems to have this magical ability to predict when the world will end and then when it doesn’t they find they made a “calculation error”. This doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. You would think in the time between predicting the “end of the world” and when it doesn’t actually happen you might have given the “math” (haha, how laughable is that, but you’ll see, it’s freaking hilarious) a once over and found this “calculation error” especially since, in almost every case the “math” is the thing being constantly brought forward. Are we really supposed to believe that “oh the prediction is sound I just forgot to borrow a ten here”. Bullshit. This same guy apparently also predicted the end of the world in 1994, and I’m sure we can work out how accurate that was.

 

Camping states he has attempted to work out mathematically-based prophecies in the Bible for decades. In an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle he explained “…I was an engineer, I was very interested in the numbers. I’d wonder, ‘Why did God put this number in, or that number in?’ It was not a question of unbelief, it was a question of, ‘There must be a reason for it.’ “

What the FUCK is this? “There must be a reason for it”? Really? Even the most devout christian can agree that there is such a thing as overanalysis, and treating the bible as a fucking math textbook takes it beyond a joke.

But it get’s better. He provides a “mathematical proof” of this:

 

  1. According to Camping, the number five equals “atonement”, the number ten equals “completeness”, and the number seventeen equals “heaven”.
  2. Christ is said to have hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
  3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year, not to be confused with the lunar year), the result is 722,449.
  4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
  5. 51 added to 722,449 is 722,500.
  6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.

What? seriously? “hey look at me assign arbitrary numbers to these words and do some pointless math and come out to another number that happens to be able to be derived from another math formula involving these numbers? Is this guy on FUCKING CRACK? Seriously? Just take a bunch of completely fucking arbitrary date intervals, do some basic arithmetic on them and them make up some handwavey bullshit about the results and POOF! proof of some retarded idea. Here, I’ll try this too!

  1. The number 12 equals bear. the number 3 equals eagle, and the number 7 equals tertiary turkey.
  2. 3 is a prime number. so is 97. if you convert 3 to a word (three) and take the length of the word-version of 97 (ninety seven) (11 letters) and subtract it, you end up with 8, which is one more than 7, which represents a tertiary turkey
  3. Tertiary means three, which is the original prime number; having established an intrinsic relationship between 3 and turkey, we also find that 3 is the number of sides a triangle has.
  4. The word isosceles( a type of triangle)  has  9 letters, which multiplied with 180 (the number of degrees the angles in a triangle add up to) we get 1,620, divide by 10, and we get 162, 180-162 is 18, which divided by three is 6, which is exactly half of the bear number.
  5. This CAN’T be a coincidence! it indicates a clear relationship between triangles, bears, and turkeys that cannot be refuted!

Really, just try to find something that I did differently. I replaced the terms and the numbers but I included the same ass-pull of arbitrary other numbers that is done in the “original” prediction text.

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