According to Al-jazeira, Bill gates uses utorrent:

Nope- Bill was killed and replaced by the YFAIFAS,(Young Felines Attempting to Imitate Fat Opera Singers)

You see, the association wants to fatten themselves- so they need food, and thus they need money. So they brainwash bill gates by having hundreds upon hundred of cute kittens crawl in his bedroom window, and create the windows logo on his floor. Bill, so touched by this strange behaviour from what he believes to be feral cats, then calls Animal control and tells them to step on it. The Cats, realizing their plan is not going as they planned, Ripped him to shreds, placing his body in the closet (where else?). The cats, realizing Animal control was on the way, quickly performed the old army ant Bivouac manuever and put on a suite and some glasses.

When animal control got there.

“Alright Mr. Gates, we brought the grenade launcher, where are the cats.”

the cats quickly realized that they had no vocal cords and could not speak, and they couldn’t meow the answer because it would seem unprofessional. So the cat forming the face did the only thing he could do. He coughed up a hairball.

Anyway to cut a long story short they had to lock the animal control officer in the closet and throw away the key. Which is amazing considering their lack of opposable thumbs; or digits, for that matter. The cats, whose association grew with the addition of two neighborhood kittens, Opal and Glit-Glit, continued their onward march.

Unfortunately, it was the middle of the night and they looked like bill gates, so it wasn’t long before the cats noticed a group of muggers (they hunt in packs) following them. The cat’s quickened their pace but it was to no avail. the muggers caught up, and it was revealed that the muggers were in fact also Cats, from the OCAWYCAFALWCFOD (Old Cats Against Whatever the Young Cats Are For and Also Like Wet Cat Food as Opposed to Dry).

the old cats outnumbered the young cats three to one, but the young cats had a secret weapon. Quickly, they tossed out a yarn ball at the older cats.

Imagine the young cats horror when not only were the less playful older cats unphased by this, but half the young cats bolted out of the “costume” after the ball.

Their numbers thus dwindled, the young felines had no choice but to surrender. But before they could, spidercat came from the shadows, and along with batcat, spat out hairballs and left. the Old cats, confused and forgetting what was going on, began meowing about the state of their eyesight and what they did as kittens. Taking advantage of thier confusion, the young cats bolted, leaving behind the empty shell of a bill gates costume. The old cats, half of which had recovered from their confusion, followed then at a lazy pace. Only to be met with their arch-rivals, the LPBWUB(Lizards painted to blend in With Unconventional Backgrounds) The cats, now thoroughly confused (as any readers will be) ran back the other way, and found their only disguise- the Bill gates shell discarded by those darned young felines, who by now had regrouped….

Anyway- it’s a bit round-about, but eventually they state the quote provided by Al-jazeira, in their first moves at controlling the grain.

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