Holy book of possumists everywhere.

In the beginning, there was nothing. except a lot of various bits of hamburger strwn about, and a few roads. There was no broadband. In the furor there did descend a great being- a possum. HE dideth arrive, and he told the people- beith good, and stuff, and also feedeth your kindred wild marsupials much of your garbage. Which the people did. and the Great Possum did have a great feast that day, the last feast- depicted here:

This picture was taken right as the great possum sat with his holy earth friends- from left to right, Ted, Paul, Sean, The great Possum himself, two more Teds looking in opposite directions in an attempt to look like they aren't the same, and Who can forget ear sniffer-Thomas, who as you can see enjoys sniffing ears. As you can see, Sean's eventual betrayal of the great possum to the dark lord Mercedes is represented by the Mercedes Triad hovering over his head. It's also possible this was the result of a double-exposure with film from the future that contained the Mercedes Logo on it, but nobody really knows. You'll also note the sturdyness of the table. This was a rather important metaphor- you see, the sturdy table represents solidity, a solid foundation upon which to build things. In this case, a table. But it could be anything! And let's not forget the metaphor of what they are eating! Nothing! the plates are empty! What kind of last supper doesn't have food? This one, obviously. After the last supper, there was a cake raffle, and an argument over which Ted had won the cake, and Then the Great Possum had to cut members from his team: "Ted- you're cut" Which started a 3 hour long argument about which Ted was cut... "Paul- Cut. Sean, Cut." "Thomas! Congratulations!" "you're cut." This left the only 5 members of the crew that were not visible in the photograph, which in no way reflects laziness on the part of the creator, or the fact that it's so damn hard to find images of bees where their transparent wings aren't showing some part of a background, the 5 bumblebees. The Great Possum did select-eth these bees as his disciples, but he warned then that one of them would not find the true Stigma of his life. The bumblebees, having very tiny brains and the inability to comprehend anything but crude forms of communication done through bee dance, and even then the only thing they communicate is where a flower is, stared on blithely using their cold, unblinking compund eyes, within which they saw the great possums visage millions of times, all with slightly different angles, which would make them excellent for filimg television shows where the right angle can make all the difference. unfortunately, at the same Time, Sean was conspiring with the Dark Lord Mercedes through IRC:

<~DLM>D00d
<sean>d00d...
<~DLM>you got cut didn't you
<sean>yeah, the great possum is kind of a dick anyway
<~DLM>Doesn't let you stay up late like I do
<sean>No! and I asked him like 3 times, and I just wanted to see the end of LOST! I mean for the move of Mercedes...
<~DLM>Yes
<~DLM>Let the hate flow through you...
<sean>huh?
<sean>I don't hate him, I just think he's a douche
<~DLM>yeah, he's a nark
<sean>hey, dick face, listen, I said, douche, not nark
<~DLM>ok, lol
<~DLM>you wanna sit in a nice bucket seat 
<sean>I love bucket seats
<~DLM>you'll love the latest luxury vehicle from Mercedes-Benz
<sean>I dunno
<sean>the dark lord Mercedes is a big step
* MrGiggles has joined #DarkLordMercedes
DLM sets mode +o MrGiggles
<@MrGiggles>It is done my master
<~DLM>haha, awesome
<sean> what did you do?
<~DLM>haha, it is so unspeakably evil we cannot say
<@MrGiggles>I put twinkies wrappers in the great possums shoes
<@MrGiggles>And now I'm using my Iphone in his closet, rofl
<sean> dude...
<@MrGiggles>"he's so gonna put his shoes on and be like, wtf, there's something slightly uncomfortable in my shoes"
<sean>umm...
<~DLM>lol! awesome!  the unspeakable evil! you're going to earn your tires quickly my young apprentice
<~DLM>Next, we have to do something even more unspeakably evil.... he uses an electric kettle for his tea right?
<Sean>yea
<@MrGiggles>yea
<~DLM>Ok... lol, what one of you should do, is hid in his refrigerator or pantry or somewhere in his kitchen, and when he plugs in the kettle and leaves the room, you unplug it
<~DLM>haha, he'll come back in and either think the water boiled and use it or he'll try again, and you can unplug it again
<~DLM>rofl... I can't believe how evil I am! my plans are so devious and clever
<@MrGiggles>Remember that time I turned off his water softener
<@MrGiggles>and he got limescale build up on his cookware
<~DLM>Yeah, that was like the most evil think ever, until now
<sean>oh yeah, btw the great possum doesn't wear shoes
<@MrGiggles>oh... oh well. I ate his twinkies anyway.
<sean>oh yeah you guys
<sean>I did something even better
<~DLM>excellent! yes, tell us of your evil deeds! CONFESS! CONFESS!
<@MrGiggles>yes. CONFESS
<~DLM>One of us! One of us
<@MrGiggles>GEEBLE GOBBLE, GEEBLE GOBBLE
<sean>ok then, anyway, this one time, I loosened the lid on his sugar container, and he went to poor the sugar into his coffee and there was sugar everywhere, haha
<~DLM>dude...
<@MrGiggles>wtf dude..
<~DLM>that's not cool at all, what if he was diabetic and needed the sugar to keep his levels up
<@MrGiggles>you heartless bastard
<sean>but, it's like the same thing you guys did
<~DLM>you have much to learn of our ways.
<@MrGiggles>seriously, I think I'm going to be sick... how the hell could you do something like that Sean? Do you even have any sense of decency
<~DLM>you know what, we're going to his house right now to apologize, I'll drive. We won't be able to stop at crosswalks, but dammit, this is important